Activity

Finishing unfinished business:
An area of unfinished business I would like to complete is my anxiety around preferring to be alone and without close friends.  This anxiety shows up in my fears over how my social anxiety will be internalized by my kids, how it will affect them.  It shows up in my unwillingness to engage my felt purpose of being a healer.  It shows up in my need to recharge after being with people…. This pattern repeats itself to absolve me of my illusion of separateness from others.  It’s my disconnection from others that creates a lot of my suffering and keeps me caught up in the illusion of duality, me and them, good and bad…. I’m willing to release my attachment to the story that I am not safe to be authentic with others, the story that others aren’t a reflection of myself… I can engage this lesson that I risk losing myself through connection with others in these ways.  First, I can see every interaction with other people as sacred ground for spiritual growth and learning rather than a waste of time.  Second, I can recognize my need to compare myself to others as counterintuitive to honoring and learning from the other person as a divine being with a lesson to teach.  I can see it as the ego protecting itself. Finally, I can smile openly and make eye contact with others without fear of reaction or response since this is my natural inclination and my resistance to it represents a mask I wear to keep me separate and safe… If I completed this story around my anxiety as a means of protection rather than seeing it as a call to stretch myself and be courageous by not playing small, I could live out my life in service to being a light for others spiritual growth as well as my own in the process.