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Bev Sartain posted an update 6 years, 4 months ago
How did you prepare for the healing journey (if at all)?
Bev Sartain posted an update 6 years, 4 months ago
How did you prepare for the healing journey (if at all)?
Hmm. I don’t remember preparing in any particular way, other than always having a burning desire to know more and learn…which led me to be open to new information, like healing and recovery and personal development…
After I graduated from college it was my goal to then finally take charge of my health and healing, so I did have a plan to address the issues, although healing hasn’t been anything like I expected it to be.
Not sure I did. I’ve tried various healing modalities, extremely sporadically mind you, since I’ve been 16 so it’s been something I’ve been exposed to for a large part of my existence. Any preparation there’s been has just sort of happened… it’s an interesting question. Kind of curious to know what you mean by it though. Just cause it doesn’t seem like something that can be prepared for.
I find it an interesting question too. It seems that something must be prepared within in order to actually do it. Like when is the tipping point, when’s the choice point or when is the decision made to heal and what lead up to that decision. Maybe motivation is a better way to put this question. I’m always really fascinated by “preparation” since a lot of people don’t heal. It makes me wonder what is necessary to actually heal.
In that sense, the tipping point for me was every area of my life felt out of control…to the point that I was having recurring dreams where I was always crashing into something or in a vehicle with no brakes. I was having physical health consequences from drinking and waking up with crushing anxiety and depression. I just couldn’t live like that anymore. I would say I gathered information about quitting and sobriety for a few years before I started “trying”. But finally I was so uncomfortable all of the time that I was willing to actually try the discomfort of not drinking instead. I remember reading a post you shared in a facebook group that was about “no one’s coming to save me” and that helped me recognize that until I did something differently nothing would ever change.
For me, I’ve always felt like I needed to be healed, like there was something inherently wrong with me. And to some extent or another, I’d been searching all my life for something that was missing. More recently, it was my responsibility as a father that was the motivation for my healing but that alone wasn’t enough. It was a series of events, synchronicities that began with the discovery of avoidant personality disorder and my belief and relief that I had it (whether I do or don’t still isn’t known but the need to have that label one way or another holds no weight for me any longer since it’s essentally an arbitrary collection of symptoms given a name that I choose not to be defined by)… it’s interesting you mention the “noone’s coming to save you” post, Jane. That had a profound impact on the direction of my own healing path as well.
I think for me it has been pain. Befriending pain and being vulnerable with the not knowing what was going to come forth. I know I said “there must be something more”. I love learning that anxiety is part of the change process. It requires me to be vulnerability in the uncertainty and not knowing, but wow, have the surprises come my way. When I feel stagnant that usually means I am ready for a new path. Listening, Noticing and Naming, seems to be something I do to prepare.