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Wes Richards posted an update 6 years, 4 months ago
Tami, I have to mention this because it seems too synchronistic that you mentioned Hagar on the call. I know nothing of the scriptures and yet 15 hours before I watched the replay today, assuming it’s the same Hagar, I had been reading about her story for the first time in a book called Sacred Contracts. It’s actually the point in the book that I had to stop reading at for the night and where I’ll be picking up the story later tonight. Wondering if the Hagar you were referring to was Hagar, servant of Abraham and his wife, who bore him a son, and was then mistreated by his wife to the point she had to leave? I didn’t especially connect to her story or take any personal meaning away from it one way or another, other than a sense of disgust for her treatment, but you also mentioned patriarchy in the same breath, more or less, as you mentioned Hagar. Patriarchy, especially in 2018 for me (which was the topic of the call), has become more prominent in my awareness this year than ever and a great source of resentment and shame for me. As a straight, white male, I undoubtedly benefited from it but I’ve suffered far more from it throughout my life, as have the vast majority of people whether they realize it or not, than any benefits have been worth. So I’m taking this risk on looking like a fool in the hopes that there may be some learning for me in this synchronicity (most of which, when I notice them, I dont follow up on or explore further despite always feeling moved by the experiences of synchronicity). Obviously, no pressure to give me your thoughts on this but it feels like something I need to put aside my fear of asking favors for in order to pursue what could be an important insight, perhaps even for both of us. Again, no pressure, but figured it wouldn’t hurt for me to ask. Thank you.
Thanks for connecting, Wes. It is the same Hagar that you speak of.
My introduction to Patriarchy is a definition from Miki Hashtan who oversees the Bay Area Non Violent Communication Group. She says the following…
“The underlying principle of patriarchy, as I understand it, is separation and control. The separation is from self, other, life, and nature. The fundamental structures we have created over these millennia are based on dominance and submission, and the worldview we have inherited justifies them as necessary to overcome both our basic nature and “Nature”, seen as separate from us. We pride self-control and frown on “emotionality”; we operate, organizationally, in command and control forms; we have been treating nature as a thing to exploit, use, subdue, and, most recently, convert to commodities for sale.The underlying principle of patriarchy, as I understand it, is separation and control. The separation is from self, other, life, and nature. The fundamental structures we have created over these millennia are based on dominance and submission, and the worldview we have inherited justifies them as necessary to overcome both our basic nature and “Nature”, seen as separate from us. We pride self-control and frown on “emotionality”; we operate, organizationally, in command and control forms; we have been treating nature as a thing to exploit, use, subdue, and, most recently, convert to commodities for sale.
This opened up an awareness of a division within myself in how I was shaming parts of myself. Once my eyes opened, I realized that there is an invitation to “Reconnect” some parts. What I am realizing is that I “bought” into a system that was structured 7,000 years ago. Miki writes that the antidote to Patriarchy, is kindness, vulnerability and mourning. The importance of Empathy within so It can flow out. Miki writes an article on Psychology Today call “Why patriarchy isn’t about men?” For me it brought a new awareness and another invitation to come home to myself. I appreciate you being vulnerable and reaching out because we can Explore new teachings to find out what resonates and brings understanding to our process. I am going through Bev’s teaching and I know this is one of the reasons that I am drawn to exploring “Worthiness is within” again. I am being intentional about changing my inner truths. I am so glad that you reached out to connect. It enhances our universal process of healing.
I don’t know everyone’s story in this group but I do know that there has been a lot of reconnection to truth and addictions are being overcome. That makes my heart very happy.
Wow Tami, thank you. I just Googled and read that article and man, is she speaking to the truth of what holds me back and down in life. And she just beautifully and compassionately breaks it all down. Made me think of the Dalai Lama quote “the world will be saved by the western women “. Not just her specifically but all women doing their work including the women in this group, even including myself since I see his use of the word woman as pointing to the divine feminine which resides as much in myself as it does any other human, regardless of gender. I think this article and what it points to can go a long way towards releasing me of much of my shame over my gender. It could even give me a larger purpose for being born a man who has never resonated with the darker shadows of masculinity and, in rejecting them, has put himself on the fringes of inclusion of society, a sort of metaphorical or archetypal exile… Tami, I’m deeply grateful for this and I’m going to go deeper into it. Your process is a gift 🙏 really, I feel like I’m coming more alive, beginning long ago but perhaps in a new way tonight. You also mention overcoming addictions and perhaps tonight I can begin truly overcoming them. My addiction wasn’t to substances, but to my own lifelong depression and anxiety and while I have been actively recovering from it, and have acknowledged that it had some payoff that kept me from releasing it, I think only now am I seeing where it originates from and the power to transmute my relationship to it. So grateful for this group and our connections here
Beautiful process and support here. I really resonated with patriarchy not being about “man” or “men.” What a great way to detach.
Wes, Glad this brought awareness and a new knowing. May you step into your greatness in a greater measure this year.