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Bev Sartain posted an update 6 years, 6 months ago
Had a little bit of a harder time having my mom in town this go around. She seems to be getting more and more ballsy with what she says. She’s very fearful so approaches all of her comments and judgments from a fear space. I can see it happening and don’t take it on but it’s a lot to manage at the same time. As an adult I can manage it. I have so much compassion for the younger me who took this all on and tried to make things better for her. Glad she came and also glad that she left. I know she feels the same. In the next few years she will decide if she moves here. I’m okay with whatever she decides.
Glad you are able to name, notice and do what is life affirming for you. It’s beautiful to witness you giving yourself compassion and understanding. Sending a big hug.
Thank you so much!
Thank you for sharing, Bev. I can relate in many ways. Every time I’m with my mom it’s another opportunity for me to detach and see us as separate people. I spent many, many years taking on her problems as if they were my own and trying to fix her. Loving her is so much better than fixing her. Sometimes I find myself very sad and in tears when I leave her knowing that she hurts so much and wanting to fix it, but I know I have to let it be. I think it was hard for me to do it for so long because the sadness has been so overwhelming. I’m going through the same process with my husband right now. We just had breakfast this morning and he’s really struggling more than I’ve ever seen him struggle. I dropped him off at work and went to my eye dr. appt, but cried all the way there and all the way home. It’s just really hard to separate it. So great to hear your progress. GIves me hope.
I admire how you are able to have compassion for your younger self and boundaries for yourself now. It’s crazy what we take on as children because we think we can’t (and can’t in some ways) survive without trying to keep our parents well. I’ve just started to face all the ways I’ve put my mother’s needs above my own…Thanks for always sharing with us, it’s so helpful. Hugs to you too Karen!
Love this. Much love and compassion to all of you.