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Wes Richards posted an update 6 years, 12 months ago
WHO AM I?
Listened to a super insightful interview with Anita Moorjani as part of the Hay House Summit that’s currently running. I’m going to go back to it and listen to it again tomorrow while I’m at the gym but the initial takeaway I got from it was how important ego is to shining brightly in the world in service to our highest calling. She talks about people who have high awareness but are afraid to do anything with it because of shame and suppression over expressing their ego. Or something to this effect. I’m paraphrasing what she said from memory. She goes on to say that there needs to be a balance between these aspects of ourselves, ego and spirit, and that we can’t lead in our own lives, let alone be a leader for others, without this healthy balance; that this is a big reason our world leaders are as they are, essentially ineffective at best and harmful at worst (my words, not hers), because they’re high in ego and unaware of spirit. And that in order to have true leaders that effect change in the world, they have to have enough ego to express their true selves. As someone who has not only suppressed his ego but demonized it, and as someone who knows no ego for myself beyond the ego story of depression, anxiety and unworthiness, etc. that I’ve identified myself with, largely I think because of coming into this world with a higher spiritual awareness, even if it was subconscious at that time, and equally high aversion to an ego based on values society deemed attractive, and an inability to reconcile these 2 parts into some semblance, at least, of a healthy ego, I feel I need to set a goal around connecting with one question: Who am I? I’m in such resistance to ego, to even the idea of myself as an ego at all, that I, number 1, paradoxically reinforce my ego as this depressed, anxious, fearful victim who’s ashamed of his humanness because he equates it with ego, and, number 2, I can’t lead a life of purpose because my ego won’t allow me to identify with being a leader of anything, including leading others on a healing journey as a coach. She says that rather than demonizing our ego, we need to connect with the traits that make us special and instead of downplaying them out of fear of being egotistical (as I’ve always done), allow our highest Self to shine through them. Really want to go back to this interview and see what else I can get from it.
For me it’s just been about asking that having an ego is part of the being in physical form. I don’t have a judgment about the ego. I just focus more on living from my spirit. I’d love to hear how you continue to work with this and apply it to your experience.
I found what she was saying to be largely aligned with what you’ve always shared with me about the ego, including your above comment, even if I didn’t explain it as well as I could have. I absolutely, unequivocally want to stop judging and belittling my ego, this idea I have of who Wes is. It creates duality within myself which is then projected outward. I’m noticing myself making different choices in response to seemingly random, pointless circumstances that are coming up for me. Choosing to see the learning in these events which is that they’ve been happening in service to loosening my ego’s grip on my consciousness so that I’m able to express spirit through my ego. This has involved dropping my need to analyze these events in search of the learning. Instead, the learning has been to be present to them and to respond to them using the ego to express from spirit.
Great shift.
I listened to this one after work yesterday, really good! I liked too how she talked about the ego being like a physical manifestation of our spirit and so to allow our spirit to lead we have to let our gifts shine through our ego/physical self (also paraphrasing lol). What really struck me was when she was talking about her near death experience and how she saw herself and realized that her spirit chose her physical self. I had this major aha moment like woah, my soul chose “Jane” as its physical expression to experience life, etc.. I feel like I’ve always been at war with myself so to feel like I chose me, was a huge shift to compassion and even excitement. Not sure if you felt the same way, but exciting to think your spirit chose “Wes”!! Now to stay there…
So good! I’ve been consciously aware of that idea you mention, ever since hearing her talk a few days ago, of allowing my ego to be lead by my spirit. I’m noticing far less judgment and more compassion for my experience. Matt Kahn gave a really great interview too. Expressed something similar about guardian angels. Not sure how I resonate with angels yet, but when I replace angels with spirit or soul, it resonates more. He said something to the effect that our true selves are our angels; that they came here excited to choose to be the angel charged with protecting/guarding/guiding a human being on earth but that when they came into form on earth, they unexpectedly found themselves here as the human being for whom they were the guardian angel, rather than a separate being from the human. But when we come into the world as humans, of course, we come in brand spanking new as infants with no memory or comprehension or knowledge, and essentially as pure and as connected to spirit as we can be, and its in the growing up in the world and trying to make sense of our environment that the ego forms and becomes dominant under the influence of our environmen. However, our “angels” or spirit is still who we essentially are and are always communicating with us and its our journey to remember who we are. A lot of what I just wrote was my interpretation of what he initially said about angels choosing to return to earth and finding themselves in human form and may not be an accurate reflection of what he meant but hey, it works for me. Definitely feeling lighter and more hopeful after hearing these talks.
Cool! I will have to check out Matt’s talk too…sounds like a lot of stuff resonating with you lately and shifting! You sound “lighter”, reading your writing..if that makes sense 🙂