Activity

I want to check in daily to this “what’s new” prompt. I think doing so will challenge me to acknowledge what is present for me and what has changed. It tends to be a question that I and a lot of people sort of shrug off as a rhetorical greeting and, yet, I’m never the exact same person I was yesterday so, what’s changed. At first glance, not a lot. I’ve been on days off either picking up the kids, dropping them off, entertaining them, or looking after them while my wife works. I managed to meditate each day but other than that, I’m feeling an unmet and unknown need being suppressed underneath the daily responsibilities. That’s nothing new. Me calling it out kind of is…. Also, I have an opportunity to show up a little differently for myself in an hour or so when I take the kids to a classmates birthday party and interact with adults I’ve never met. It represents a chance to make a different choice. Do I want to be triggered to feel inferior and inadequate by meeting strangers as my social anxiety has told me to do in the past because of the positive intention it once served long ago to keep me quiet and inconspicuous? Or would I rather show up, as I’ve gotten much better at doing over the years, as someone who acknowledges his own worth, independent of anyone else present? It may not be ideally what I want to do with my afternoon but my kids are excited and love to have fun and make friends. I could learn a lot from just watching them. All is well. And I am enough.