Activity

So often I do really well in the physical level. I change my total lifestyle and meet my weightless, healthy eating and physical workout goals. Then life gets in the way and undo everything that I worked so hard to achieve. This is such a common cycle for me. I need to look at this and determine why and then reset my goals and work to achieve them.

I’ve learned that I enjoy & appreciate noticing my body getting stronger from different workouts and classes I’ve tried. I also notice a shift from thinking of working out as a punishment to now it becoming a part of self-care and something that makes me feel better when I do it. I also learned that it’s not about the food 🙂 And that after doing some writing out of self-judgements and then self-forgiveness, that it’s very much about unworthiness and fear. And that when I read the self-forgiveness statements I wrote out I am much more able to practice neutrality around food and eating and my weight & body in general. And I notice that when I’m more neutral I’m also much more compassionate toward myself. It’s not an overnight thing that has changed, but I’m much more aware of my patterns of judgement and punishment and fear around eating/dieting and in those moments it’s a huge shift in the way I view myself and dieting & weight loss. The feelings I get when I am in neutrality are so much more peaceful than the back and forth between self-destruction and feeling at war with myself in the past. I am happy to keep working on growing in this area. I think the key for me is using the self-forgiveness tool until the neutrality and new patterns are more automatic and less “work”…if that makes sense. Bev, I think your planning of these months was brilliant. I don’t think I could’ve had this much growth in this area had I not done all the work & learned all the tools in the previous months. And this was a big one for me. Thank you.